Insomisucks

It's really, really late (or early depending on when you get up) and I can't sleep. My eyes hurt because it's late and I have a headache, but they don't want to stay closed. I blame the Diet Coke I opened after 2 pm and the stress. Probably more the stress, but the Diet Coke part is easier to remedy in the immediate future.

So here I sit in my dark apartment on the couch with my cat curled up next to me as I listen to the not so gentle hum of the electronics in the corner. The new tv is loud and any other day it would go unnoticed, but no noise goes unnoticed at 1:45 am. All your senses are heightened, particularly those that fixate on an annoyance. Right now, tv is annoying, but it's $580 worth of annoying, so I'll put up with it.

It's a bit cold since I do not leave the heater on during the night. At least not intentionally. My University of Arizona Geosciences Department t-shirt (trilobites!) is not doing much to protect against the cold and the lack of pants is certainly a significant factor. I at least have my afgahn; the blanket, not the snooty looking dog or foreign national.

I could go back to bed and curl up under the warmth of my down comforter, but then I'd just be lying there with my thoughts. Those thoughts are what I'm trying to avoid. A rehashing of the day, stressing on what's to come in the next few weeks and emotions on family and my future all swirling about in my already aching head. I try to count backwards from 100 and manage to reach 95 before another thought explodes in my head then flies around like crazy, changing and evolving like fireworks in the crappiest nighttime display ever presented. Not so much oooo's and aaaahhhh's as tosses and turns.

Tomorrow, I suspect, will not be my finest hour. At least all I really need to do is drive to Glendale and say my name. Yes, $115,000 in law school education and you too and learn to say your name in all sorts of courtrooms across the southern California region as well. If you work extra hard you can learn such useful phrases as "yes, your honor," "no, your honor," "that's fine" and "notice waived." Yep, it's a shame I won't be at my best in the morning. I am just too damn important to the wheels of justice.

The hum of the tv is now competing with the warbling of the fridge. If only my neighbor would get on the phone the trifecta would be complete. Thankfully, he waits until 5:30 am to make the phone calls. I spotted him once standing by the dumpster in the alley reading mailing advertisements around 11 pm. He's a lurker. It's quite possible he's standing out front of the building staring off into nothing as I write this. The cold, lack of pants and general disregard for what he does unless it effects me prevents me from looking.

What I will do though, is go back to bed and hope that my thoughts are quieter and ready to let me sleep. Sweet dreams.